While a relationship starts with love, there comes a phase called after-love where after the fun-factor is over comes the stability-factor in the relationship. This phase is crucial and what you do and don’t do in this phase can only predict the future of your relationship as to whether you will have a stable, lasting and satisfied relationship or a rocky one full of quarrels, fuss and disagreement.
Here are some psychologically tested Do’s and Don’ts tips that will help you to get a stable and lasting relationship with your partner.
# Take Time to Talk: Proper communication is crucial to have a healthy relationship. A compatible and strong relationship is one in which both the partners doesn’t feel apprehensive to communicate with each other. Do share with each other dreams, aspirations, goals, interests and other important matters related to both of your future that will bring transparency and trust, a necessary recipe for a strong relationship.
# Take Responsibility: Taking responsibility of your partner and also for your own actions and words reflect the type of person you are. Irresponsibility and blaming your partner or others for your own mistakes or complaining will leave very little space for trust, stability and dependency. Do take responsibility as it provides stability to the relationship.
# Learn to Say Sorry: Most couples starts hurling abuses and blaming each other when they are in the wrong end. Blame-game brings bitterness to your relationship more than you can imagine. When you start blaming each other and dig each other’s faults, unknowingly you show disrespect and contempt towards your spouse. If you have any issue at hand, Do attack the issue but not your spouse. Be a little tactful with the choice of words. Accept your mistakes when you are at fault and learn to say sorry.
# Compliment Your Spouse: In a relationship, little compliments can work like magic. Bringing small gifts, or complimenting your spouse when s/he wears a new dress in which s/he looks good in or just calling up your spouse to say ‘I love you’ and ‘how much you are missing him/her’, or praising your spouse about his/her good things in front of your friends and relatives will not only make your spouse happy but will bring mutual respect for each other. Do compliment your love to strengthen the bond.
# Taking Care: The care and affection that you show towards your partner actually bespeaks the emotional bond that you share. Do be there for your spouse when s/he needs you and especially when s/he is recovering from an ailment or going through any tough phase of life. Just a little support from your end can strengthen the emotional cord and concrete the trust imperative to build a strong and lasting relationship.
# Don’t Dig Up The Past: Mostly in a relationship when one couple commits some mistake s/he tries to cover it by digging up past issues or past mistakes of the other partner. Even some partners have the tendency to unnecessarily dig up the past relationships of the other partner to make him/her feel inferior. Believe me, such a relationship can only bring stress and unhappiness and doesn’t sustain for a long time. If you really wish to have a happy and fulfilling relationship then say RIP to all the past hatchets and move forward.
# Don’t Fight Dirty: Some partners just cannot resist interrupting or commenting on the spouse when s/he is trying to speak his/her point. Some even take recourse to swearing, cursing, throwing things around or even passing of gestures like smirking, rolling of eyes, coughing in particular manner to points s/he doesn’t agree to and so on while fighting. Such actions only display your ego and your utter disrespect for your partner. It also makes small quarrels grow bigger than proportion and brings distrust for each other. Refrain from displaying such acts and allow your partner to speak. If you are a type of person who cannot control your anger then just go out to a place where you cannot vent it and let yourself cool down.
# Don’t Involve Third Party to Resolve Personal Issues: Taking opinion of parents, relatives, friends or even your counselor is a good thing as sometimes a person outside the relationship can reflect up on the problems better than the couple themselves, especially in case of troubled or abusive relationship. But if you and your partner share a healthy bond and really trust each other, then too much involvement of parents, relatives, friends or a counselor while taking vital decisions concerned with your love or married life is a strict no-no. Whether married or in love, a relationship is about two individuals taking a decision to be together- life is yours, love is yours, so if your relationship is going through any particular crisis then sit with each other and discuss the problem. Others opinions may or may not matter but your decision will definitely matter in keeping the relationship happy and strong.
# Don’t Be A Narcissist: If you cannot see the world beyond you then it better for you stay alone lifelong because a relationship is about loving someone other than you. It is a commitment. It is caring and sharing your life with another person, compromise, tolerance and much more. A healthy and good relationship needs little effort from both ends. Don’t blandly assert your decisions on your spouse. Don’t complain or blame your spouse for things that are not working for you. Just don’t think about ‘my interests, my needs, my priorities, my work, my dream, and my…my…my…’ when in a relationship. Ultimately, your narcissism can leave you solitary for life.
# Don’t Say No To Everything: Asking is expectation and expectation is a part of love. We only ask from person whom we love and depend on, like our parents, our grandparents. Denial is hurting, whatever type it might be. If you deny your spouse smalls things s/he expects from you, unknowingly you take out a small part of happiness from the relationship. Denying also brings a lot of communication gap as your partner slowly stops sharing things with you. Fulfilling small wishes of your spouse can return you with big happiness and keep the love strong and going on the long run. After all, they are Little Expectations and not Great Expectations.